Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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