she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
