At least make sure they are 18
Why
It's Friday. Sex?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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