i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
this just has baby written all over it
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize
