He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
vagina is talking i cant
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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