I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
