It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
