Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
