I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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