I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
