So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
