fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
