if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You are the jesus of drinking
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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