I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
