you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
