My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
