We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Randomize
