I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
