I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
