I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
