At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
