Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
