Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
