It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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