do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
