Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
