Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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