Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
