We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
