I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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