On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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