dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
