Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
