I can't watch pbs sober anymore
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
