he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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