this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
