My underwear smells like fireworks.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My life is pants optional.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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