So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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