My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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