no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
