no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
