it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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