Have you finally orgasmed yet?
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
