Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
