This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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