The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
