it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
