Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
we're making bets on your personal life
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
