So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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