so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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