So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You're a waste of cheezeits
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
